Dr. Judith Barnes' Blog

It's Not About Me

Part of this life journey which I am on, has taught me a lesson which I am grateful was not hard to learn; life is not all about me! I knew this when I was a very young child. I knew it when I was a teenager. I knew it when I was single, when I got married and when I got divorced. But even though I knew that life was not all about me during these various stages of my life, conversely, I was confused and thought that life was about everything and everyone except me. Like most human beings, I misread signs along life's road and thought inaccurately about certain life behaviors. Erroneously I took my father's edict to take care of people and my natural mindset to be loving, to mean, that I was not to do anything nice or worthwhile for myself. It was always about others! The extreme almost killed me over the years, psychologically, and spiritually speaking. I once asked a professor of psychology while I was doing my undergraduate degree "do you think it is possible that one can become too kind, that perhaps their natural bent to be kind, combined with a parent's instructions to be kind, can make someone overdo?" His response was a definitive yes!

Over some 40 years I had been becoming the female version of my father; my earthly father that is, but one day, one day I would meet my other Father, Who would show me through His Word in which Martha complained about her sister Mary not doing enough to help, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:41) God showed me that I was busy about too much and that what I needed to do was "sit at His feet;" like Mary did, for that was the good part. God allowed a friend of mine, Margo, some years ago to use those words to me, "sit at His feet;" and because I am hungry and greedy even, for growth and for His blessings, I am wearing out the carpet, sitting at His feet. It is there where I am becoming the awesome woman He intended for me to become, before the foundations of the earth!